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Ribbon Butterfly
November 21, 2011 at 9:47 pm
Dear Badgersphere,

This is totally unrelated to Badger’s post, except tangentially (fear of relationship/life failure is included here. Particularly, one of Bellita’s soul-sapping rituals – the break-up). Those uninterested in the small angst of Ribbon’s love life should skip this entirely.

I must admit I gave the introvert two more chances – once at and after the astronaut’s lecture, once at morning coffee. He got to second base, with zero tingle (I was hoping the tingle would magically appear at second base…). I stared deeply into his eyes. I isolated myself with him, in his room. I made physical IOI’s, trying to trick my body into bonding with him. It didn’t work.

I broke up with him tonight. I’ve never done that before, and I hope I handled it with at least a modicum of grace. He actually appeared to take it really well in the moment, but I know I hurt him. He gave me a Teddy Bear of Ultimate Guilt – he had bought it previously, thinking to give it to me on Friday night, after my dance performance. I felt terrible about doing this to him, but Guilty Bear is really hammering it in. Why is doing the morally correct action so painful for me, too?

Thème

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